• Angry at your mother?
  • Rejected by your adult child?
  • Blamed for your adult child's problems?
  • Unhappy and exhausted from your constant family struggles?
  • Feeling alone as a mother?


FACT: In 2010, a survey conducted by 20th Century Fox showed that 8 out of 10 people reported that the women in their families were responsible for ongoing family feuds; 4 out of 10 reported that they were currently going through it.

FACT: We've gone from a short period of time from it being the child 's job to earn the parents' love and respect to it now being the parents' job to earn the child's love and respect.

FACT: Thirty percent of women polled are estranged from their mothers.

“You can live with a broken heart, and you can die with one, but it’s terrible to have to do both.”  –Quote from an estranged parent

About the Author
Nancy E. Perry is a Clinical Psychologist as well as a Registered Nurse and an Artist. She obtained her Nursing, M.A. and Ph.D. degrees at The Ohio State University and her Associate's Degree in Fine Arts at the Santa Fe Community College. Dr. Perry has served on the faculty of The Ohio State University, The University of Wisconsin, and The Wisconsin Professional School of Psychology.

She is a recognized authority in the treatment of Dissociative Disorders and has presented papers and workshops in many countries around the world. Dr. Perry currently resides in Santa Fe, New Mexico with her husband. She is the mother of three.
This is a very personal book. I have experienced mother blame in my own life as well as identified problems I had with my own mother. My own emotional pain launched me on the odyssey of writing this book. I developed a pilot study to find out if others felt as I did. I discovered that Mother Bashing or blaming is part of our culture in the U.S.. Society is also guilty of unfairly blaming mothers for problems their children may have. I discovered there is a lot of emotional pain in relationships between parents and children. 

The book defines mother bashing, explains what a good mother really is, the reasons society has blamed mothers and whether that blame was warranted. It examines reasons for blame and focuses as well on conditions in our world today that can cause harm to developing children as well as cause conflict between mothers and children. Single Parenting, Child abuse, Social Change, Memory and the Technological Revolution are addressed. 

The last sections of the book recognize the profound need in the world for mothering at many levels, beginning with our own children and expanding this "mothering" to the world. It considers mothers who may feel they deserve to be blamed. 

The last chapter provides concrete suggestions to help readers deal with their anger and learn to forgive if they choose. This book is not written to vindicate mothers or to blame them. Blame already exists. It is not a book about how to be a good parent, but it provides good parenting advice. It is a book that sheds a different light on mothering and parenting today and provides information about how to cope with discord in cross generational relationships. It challenges mothers, fathers, and their children to evaluate themselves as they read. 
I have just completed this book. As someone with a fair amount of, what I consider mother induced baggage I found that the book helped me to revisit some of the issues I have had with my own mother. In my marriage I have reacted in ways that did not fit the situations I confronted. After discussions with my wife I have tried to track my inappropriate feelings. This book has helped me to better understand both the strengths and weaknesses in my own mother. -TDP

A must read for anyone who is or has a mother! This book sheds light on the causes of mother bashing and provides an understanding of good mothering as well as the dangers in society today that can damage our children. The author writes from her heart and shares her own experiences as well as actual clinical cases. She is a mother of three children and a grandmother to six. ---Eileen P. Sheil CNP, Ph.D., Associate Professor Emerita, University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee

Dr. Perry's book is truly provocative! It illuminated the concept that my mother was a person before she was my mother. Previously, I had relegated her existence to motherhood alone. Now I see her in a much broader context and accept her for the woman she is. I believe multiple generations of children should read and discuss this book. I realize we are much more than the roles we take on in this life. -Cecilia Keough, Financial Advisor and mother, Santa Fe, New Mexico 

Everybody should read this book! It made me feel more loving toward my children and less critical of myself. I believe I understand my mother better now. ---Joshlyn Gill, Cosmetologist and mother of two children, Santa Fe, New Mexico

"This book helped me accept the fact that I was a good mother as was my mother. I was able to accept the fact that I am not perfect and to forgive myself for the mistakes I have made." ~Lee Starr, Opera singer and mother of adult twins, Chicago, Illinois.

"This book changed the way I viewed mothers. I feel closer to my mother than I did before as I think I understand her better. I now believe I can be a good mother someday." ~Amorette DeBoer, Certified Massage Therapist, Grand Rapids, Michigan.